The Saga Continues

Yes, it’s been a while since I last updated my little space on the Internet. Not that I dint have enough time, events or issues to discuss or that I couldn't put the thoughts to words, neither was I going through existential crisis [none that was major], I went through a crisis of a different kind- "technology crisis". Yes, shocking as it may seem.

The prelude to this starts two Diwalis ago when my folks had a sudden upsurge of affection and decided to buy me a laptop. I like to believe that the huge sale at the “House of Laptops” had nothing to do with their decision. Nevertheless, the elderly of the house, living in the constant delusion that their daughter being in the Computer Science field knows everything about any device which has a “restart”, thought it best if the choice of the laptop were left to her. And she being me, armed with knowledge worth exactly 46 marks in Computer Organization and knowing how many zeros came in a ten thousand, decided to go for a moderately prized slender black classy Compaq V3000 laptop.

That is how Lappy came into my life and the love story began-an arranged marriage if you may, but it was love at first sight! We saw each other, our eyes met, [in this case, the monitor, mike and my eyes through the spectacles], Lappy baby easily adjusted into my life, slowly displacing the age old desktop, CDs, Books, Diaries, Cell Phone, College, Classes, and giving new life to Minesweeper, Scrabble, to the limit that to me social interaction meant my Lappy, coffee and me. 

She would sing, and I would listen, she would play movies and I would watch, she would run every program just as I wanted. The desktop was customized, the start up and shut down music were George Harrison or RD Burman depending on our mood.

There was something between us, like magic, as though I knew where to touch her to make the audio clear or when she would get over heated [literally], I just knew what to do, and she knew the same. Ah! We both soaked in the early pangs of love.

And then it started, about 6 months into our relationship is when we experienced strain. She stopped singing; all of a sudden. This was the first sign that Lappy had a problem, but I turned a blind eye to it. A couple of days at the service centre and the internal speakers were changed.

Everything seemed fine, when one fine day, she turned moody and started shutting down automatically. It was like she wanted something more. She did not anymore care that I had a practical exam the next day. A few more days at the service station and the batteries were changed. Then the hard disk replaced.

Lucky for me, there was a one year warranty. So I had a fresh battery, a new hard disk and speakers. One would call it foolish to extend the warranty when almost all the parts were fresh. Nothing could go wrong now. Nothing did.

At least for while! Exactly a month after the warranty expired, Lappy refused to display, and to make matters worse, in a fit of emotion, I split a mug of filter coffee on the keyboard.

Total Damage: Over 20K.

Doomed, if that’s the word you are looking for. It was officially the end of life as I knew it. Being depressed is one thing, being helpless is another... Being both together is what kills. Days slowed down. Nights seemed longer. People seemed strange. I felt like a loner in this big world. The final call was near. I managed about 3 months without her, but no more!

There was only one way to save Lappy and me-get the warranty extended so that it would cover all the repairs at a nominal cost. Now the deal with this warranty extension is that the laptop has to be in “working condition” to get it, clearly mine was not.

But I was not going to give up this easy, after all “pyar kia toh nibhana padega”, as a famous song goes. So a friend who had the same problem with his laptop as me with mine… we went to the service station and with a whole lot of cock and bull stories and strategies [details some other time] which involved my committed friend to shamelessly flirt with the lady at the counter, and us going up and down the HP showroom about 10 times and finally, about 3 hours later we had the extended warranty certificate in our hands; I had tears in my eyes.

Thus after about five months Lappy came back to life! Slowly regaining the power she had, she took charge of my life. Oh how I hate it! And how i love her! She had the battery replaced, the IC changed, the Mother board replaced, the Speakers replaced [for the second time], key pad and touch pad changed, a new graphics card installed and is she is due for a hard disk replacement.

So ahead of her shutting down for the third time before I finish this post, I would like to say, for the benefit of the handful of people who read this… Lappy and me are now back in action, albeit I’m a little older and wiser but Lappy is newer and as still as stupid as she ever was!

Home Alone

Ah… back after a long time… 6th semester results were out, and how did I fare? Well, the lowest ever in my academic profile… the crying, wailing, complaining part is over, so skip the speech please!!:) now I can proudly say “been there, done that” with respect to my marks. Just a way of looking at it! And then I was struck with a serious bout of flu. Man, the only thing worse than falling sick is falling sick alone and there’s no one to pamper you!!

This battle’s been raging in my head for a while, staying with parents or alone-which works out better? I know its an extremely tricky issue-I love staying at home, but I enjoy the freedom I get when I’m alone, I love it that I can stay up till 3 in the morning-NOT STUDING, but surfing the net, orkutting, reading, playing the guitar, that I can leave the lights on the entire night, that I can get beer bottles home, that I can listen to strange music with swear words enough to cut down a forest, watch FRIENDS all day(and night!!), freedom from the constant insinuating remarks when the chemistry’s not at its best… A common misconception, when you stay alone you realize the value of everything at home-when I go back to the confinement under the aegis of my parents, I feel claustrophobic.

I’m used to freedom now. One begins to get his/her priorities right, to see and appreciate the finer things around-not the smell or roses and color of the sky crap-stuff like how the tiniest gesture can go a long way, a simple smile, meeting an old friend, your favorite song, making it in the nick of time for the bus, all this puts a smile on your face. Contrary to popular belief that when you’re alone you become cold and more secretive, I have never been more known to people than now!!

Though all this sounds great, but sometimes I wonder if its too much of a trouble staying alone, if its worth all of the above. After all, what makes humans different from animals is the fact that we’re social beings. When you stay alone you realize that not everyone who said they will be there will actually be there-there’s a sense of caution while trusting people. After the initial attacks by loneliness, there is also the miserable feeling of isolation which can strike when you least expect it. Not that there aren’t enough people calling you or anything, but then it is just not the same. Initially it is all exciting, you’ll have friends over all the time, etc, and then it becomes mundane… almost dull… I don’t know how well I will be able to manage if I go back to living with “people”, how it’ll turn out when I have room mates/house mates again, all I have to say for now is, I know what Bill Watterson meant when he said this-

Lemme know what you think!:)

The "rock" concert:D-Aukro

I just got back from the concert put up by a band which calls itself Aukro. (Google them for now, I'm not very good at HTML to use the link thing. If someone does know, Help accepted:)) Anyway,it was a very grumpy me that went in, I actually wanted to watch the movie Rock on, but with no company and more importantly no tickets, I had to choose between watching half downloaded FRIENDS (season 8) episodes or attend a concert by a band I had never heard of (who supposedly have released two videos), I choose the latter. Contrary to the advertisement in the papers, it was not exactly a “rock” show- the mention of “rock” conjures a picture of head banging, torn jeans, rebel, dance till you cant stand, scream till you’re sore, etc but this was nothing like it. What the band members lacked in attention to detail, they made up with the cheery smiles and the fantastic energy-despite the low spectators.

Aukro played a few popular hindi numbers, hum bewafa being the one i liked most. They started the song with the chords and leads of Bryan Adams’ summer of 69!! It made for a nice change. But what the crowd particularly enjoyed was Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani… the band stuck to the original tune of this one, but the drums did the magic here.
Their original compositions were note worthy too. I liked this one song they played, I fail to recall the name, but it was in assamese and of course Nadiyaan, their first solo,really nice.

One striking quality about the band was the understanding between the members, maybe I read too much between the lines-thanks to the Beatles, but I found the band members constantly looking at one another, smiling, sometimes talking while on stage, it felt like they were just “there”, it was like Richard Bash whispering into my ears-“here and now”!!

I wont say I don’t have a favorite member from the band, but as someone said everyone is equally important in a band- the lead singer with a subtle East Indian accent, the bass guitarist from Goa/Mangalore(cute goatee!!), the lead guitarist, the IITan guy on some instrument(WOW!!), the guy on the tabla who personifies-the best things in life come in small packages(he’s a li’l over 5 feet I think), the guy from some other band who liked the music of Aukro that he joined them, the lady band manager from Delhi who could not stop taking pics of the band members, I’m sure they’ll all be on the official site by tomo :) and then my two favourate- the dummer and the keyboard player. The drummer’s a Shetty (if I remember right), and OH MY GOD!! What energy!! I was in total awe. The only reason I like live music is the drums, and this guy did full justice to it… and my other favorite- Rrituraj (yes, the only one whose first name I recall:)) I’m not very good at distinguishing one musical instrument from the other, and when its orchestrated so well-practically impossible, so I really cant comment on his playing skills, but this guy had this smile on his face… the smile that I have right now, of enjoyment, satisfaction, of fulfillment… I could not take my eyes off him!! The passion, energy, the enjoyment shown by them on stage made me forget the reason for my grumpiness all together. Of course, the best thing about the band, though most of the members are from East India, they call themselves a “Bangalore Based band”. I believe in bengaluru:)

To summarize, a decision well made, 100 bucks well spent, pleasant Saturday evening. If u do know of any other bands performing or have an extra pass, do not hesitate to invite me, I officially am into live music as of today. And if the Aurko band members are reading this, great work people, sorry about the low turn over, but if it helps you did make me really happy!! Rock on!!(no pun intended) LOL!! :)

Krishna Janamashtami:)

“At least not today” I muttered under my breath to my friend Pinky as she ordered a fish thali for lunch.
“Why, what is today?” Soni asked me lazily across the table.
“Janmashtami” Pinky and I chorused. She looked at me, I wonder if I saw a little bit of guilt on Pinky's face. The scene is, Pinky comes from a Brahmin family, from Mangalore, for those who don’t know what that means, lets just say-the best of all the cascading events that will occur if her folks find out she’s been eating non veg is that she’ll been disowned.
“Big deal man”, she justified, trying to convince her self more than us, “I’ll go have a bath before the puja.”
Soni added, before she smiled at me, “Anyway Krishna was a non vegetarian himself, so its not as bad” Making a mental to verify this new bit of information I looked at Pinky as she relished on her fried fish, cooked in mustard oil, garnished with spices, as though the creature was just meant to meet this end.
“Better eat fast or we’ll be late for the puja” Pinky punctuated in the midst of her chewing, “amma wont like it if we’re late”

Pinky’s mum had invited us for puja, not that they do it on a grand scale, the puja prasadams was too good a deal for me to resist. So we accepted. As promised, as soon as Pinky reached home, she took a bath, in her mind she had compensated and paid penalty for eating non veg by the bath, while the fish probably not even had digested fully. She changed into a salwar kameez and her mum dressed in a pink saree, the attire saved for days like these.

The last janmashtami that I celebrated was two years ago when my folks were in the city, my mum was working on janmashtami day too (yes, the pits of working for an international school), she came back around five, clad in a loose Fab India short Kurti and my dad’s old jeans, altered about five inches waist and length.

Quick as she could, she washed up and draped the red Pattu saree, the one with the golden border… ah… she looks wonderful in that one. Next, she targeted the kitchen, made the batter for Nai Appams and while waiting for it to ferment, she mixed the Kollam powder in right proportions with water and the Kollam was drawn-from the entrance to the puja room the design being the foot steps (padam- a simple 8 structure with toes) of baby Krishna-a ritual going back to ammu-patti times.

I remember watching her prepare for the puja, single handedly, whilst I was plunked in front of the computer drooling over the FRIENDS star cast, turning a blind eye to every attempt by my mum to entice me into helping her, to draw the Kollam or make appams, and a deaf year to the stridently loud shlokas she played. We were both used to it, its’ our ritual.

Finally the appams were made, the time of completion coincided perfectly with my dad’s grand entry, the weariness of his long day of work having been drowned away in a refreshing bath, the actual aarti started, and then the navediam (offering the prasadams-the appams in this case-to God first) After the navediam and namaskarams we were permitted to dig into the nai appams, and my sister to break her fast. We sat, as a custom after every puja, around the dining table and talked- about office, school, college, this and that and munched on the amazing prasadams.

I painfully dragged myself into the present and left the Nai Appams behind as aunty called for us puja. Maybe it was because I had not seen a puja at home in so long or because of the phase I’m going through or the Shantaram-Shankaran effect, or the Beatles, but suddenly the entire “puja” concept seemed so beautiful, filled with love and purity, with devotion, innocence, with bonding. Pinky’s dad started the puja, reciting Sanskrit shlokas written in the Kanada script, loud and clear he read them, the puja essentials gleaming in the light of the lamps. There’s something about the light from the lamps, the valak, it makes the surrounding look fresh and new… the flowers-the jasmine garland, the fruits, banana, apple, pears, the milk, the water, the betel leaves, the tulsi(basil), the small silver containers filled with red vermillion and haldi(turmeric powder), the rice colored red with kumkum which will later be showered on the idol…there’s some significance in each of these items, I thought, a significance and reason lost somewhere during evolution. Now it’s just a ritual, I thought-no one knows why we do it.

The Aarti essentials
As uncle proceeded with the puja, aunty prepared for the aarti, the camphor, and the incense sticks in the right place and Pinky’s sister with the bell. The aarti, it makes you feel so many things at the same time, just if you let it, the sound of the bell ringing, then smell of the aggarbatti, the lit camphor moving, its yellow light leaving its trail due to the momentum combined with gravity, giving it a lazy look, it is like two minutes of settlement.
The essentials of the puja
Once done with the aarti, Pinky’s sister started singing, classical songs, as the entire family joined in, smiling and enjoying themselves; filling in unknown words with aalaps and “mmmmmmmmmm…”, tunes ranging from ISKON’S Hare Rama Hare Krishna to Payo ji Maine to Krishna ne begane baro. I was overwhelmed. Aunty concluded with a shloka-krishnaaya vasudevaya… as everyone looked on, and somewhere it struck me, I chorused –
Krishnaaya Vasudevaya Devaki Nandanaayacha
NandaGopa Kumaaraya Govindaaya Namo Namaha.

I was filled with emotion. I had just realized the reason behind Amma’s constant teaching me these shlokas. It’s a quest, to find out the meaning, to decipher it and connect with it. An omen if one may say. I was filled with gratitude towards my folks who tried to keep it alive within me. I’ve said it before, and I quote again-the eyes will see only what the mind can comprehend.

Sometimes we learn stuff without any reasons, sometimes we find no need for reasons and sometimes the reasons presents itself in due course, however it goes, as long as the deed spreads love and makes one feel good, it becomes abstract.

As aunty filled our plates with the numerous prasadams she had made, I asked Pinky, making sure we were safely earshot from her mother, “you know, there’s this new restaurant opened at koramangala, they specialize in coastal cuisine, prawns and crabs, wanna go? My treat…” we both smiled.

i simply love beauty:)

I simply love beauty. I love beauty in the silent night. I love the beauty in the dogs calling out to each other hideously, breaking the silence of the night with their ear splitting howl. I love beauty in the freshness of the morning sunrise, the anticipation of another day, the joggers pushing themselves for the one more lapse, the beauty in the eyes of innocent children, unaware of what life has in store for them… I love the beauty in my mother’s eyes, when she bids me farewell, I love the beauty in the silent prayer she mutters for me, pretending she never did it.

I love the beauty in a genuine greeting, a “hi” to know you were missed… thought of… I love the beauty in my friends’ eyes when she looks deep into me and says “you know what I realized…” I love the way she’s just waiting to tell me something new. I love the way she listens’ when I’ve something more to say.

I see the beauty in my teachers’ eyes while they impart all they can, more than just the syllabus, much more than that… I love the way they stop talking when they so desperately feel like shaking us up and screaming, but realize in the end, they were once us. I love the manner in which they let us be, let us grow, see life… I love the beauty of every heart which gives another time…

I love the beauty of realizing something new… of knowing that there is so much to life... knowing that I was wrong all along… knowing that I was right all along, realizing there’s so much more than the tags we attach to everything, seeing more that what my brain can comprehend, diminishing the line between consciousness and unconsciousness to the maximum permissible limits, and just learning… the sparkle in one’s eyes… the realization… enlightenment… ecstasy… bliss…

I love the beauty of my ruffled hair, the look of utter disgust on my folks faces at the sight of it, I love the beauty in a scholars’ look whose exhausted from a night’s toil… the stubble… the loose t-shirt and the faded jeans… the way the untidy hair falls so symmetrically on one’s face… ah…there’s nothing more wonderful than the intellectual talk with such a person…

I love the way someone’s tries to discover who he/she is… where they are headed to... if you look around, there’s beauty in every act… every event… anything which involves individuality… after all, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder!